What's in Your Control

Men seek retreats for themselves, houses in the country, sea-shores, and mountains... But this is altogether a mark of the most common sort of men, for it is in thy power whenever thou shalt choose to retire into thyself.

Take away thy opinion, and then there is taken away the complaint, 'I have been harmed.' Take away the complaint, and the harm is taken away.

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.

The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.

Today I escaped from anxiety. Or no, I discarded it, because it was within me, in my own perceptions — not outside.

From Apollonius I learned freedom of will and undeviating steadiness of purpose; and to look to nothing else, not even for a moment, except to reason.

That which does not make a man worse than he was, also does not make his life worse, nor does it harm him either from without or from within.

Wipe out the imagination. Stop the pulling of the strings. Confine thyself to the present. Understand well what happens either to thee or to another.

Say nothing more to thyself than what the first appearances report. Suppose that it has been reported to thee that a certain person speaks ill of thee. This has been reported; but that thou hast been injured, that has not been reported.

Either the gods have no power or they have power. If, then, they have no power, why dost thou pray to them? But if they have power, why dost thou not pray for them to give thee the faculty of not fearing any of the things which thou fearest?

It is in our power to have no opinion about a thing, and not to be disturbed in our soul; for things themselves have no natural power to form our judgements.

If the power of deliberation is not in our control, nothing else is. For if it is not in our control, it is not our own action. And if it is our own action, we are free.

It is in thy power whenever thou shalt choose to retire into thyself. For nowhere, either with more quiet or more freedom from trouble, does a man retire than into his own soul.

Wipe out thy imagination: turn away thy desire: extinguish thy appetite: keep the ruling part of the soul in its own power.

Let the opinion which thou hast formed about the thing be thrown away, and the thing itself will remain whole and safe. Why then art thou troubled?

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.

Ducunt volentem fata, nolentem trahunt. Fate leads the willing and drags along the reluctant.

The Fates lead the willing, and drag the unwilling.

The Fates guide the person who accepts them and hinder the person who resists them.

We are not in command of our circumstances, but we are in command of our virtues. We should make ourselves independent of all external things.

It is the power of the mind to be unconquerable.

The best plan is to reject straightway the first incentives to anger, to resist its very beginnings, and to take care not to be betrayed into it.

The other passions affect the mind; anger affects the whole man. It makes the hands ready, the eyes fierce, the face swollen, the veins black, the breath hard and uneven.

Some of the wisest of men have called anger a short madness. For it is equally devoid of self-control, regardless of decorum, forgetful of kinship, obstinately intent on whatever it has begun.

Anger, if once it is allowed to rise, does not easily return to reason; it rushes on and, like fire, consumes all before it.

Some things are up to us, and some are not up to us. Up to us are opinion, motivation, desire, aversion... not up to us are body, property, reputation, public office.

Men are disturbed not by the things which happen, but by the opinions about the things.

Do not seek to have events happen as you wish, but wish them to happen as they do happen, and your life will go on well.

Remember that desire demands the attainment of that of which you are desirous; and aversion demands the avoidance of that to which you are averse.

With every accident, ask yourself what abilities you have for making a proper use of it.

The condition and characteristic of a vulgar person, is, that he never expects either benefit or hurt from himself, but from externals. The condition and characteristic of a philosopher is, that he expects all hurt and benefit from himself.

Sickness is an impediment to the body, but not to the will, unless itself pleases. Lameness is an impediment to the leg, but not to the will; and say this to yourself with regard to everything that happens.

If you wish your children, and your wife, and your friends to live for ever, you are stupid; for you wish to be in control of things which you cannot, you wish for things that belong to others to be your own.

When a raven happens to croak unluckily, don't allow the appearance hurry you away with it, but immediately make the distinction to yourself, and say, 'None of these things are portended to me... to me nothing can be portended, either dangerous or unfortunate, since whatever befalls me is up to me.'

You can be unconquerable, if you enter into no combat in which it is not in your own control to conquer.

If a person had delivered up your body to some passer-by, you would certainly be angry. And do you feel no shame in delivering up your own mind to any reviler, to be disconcerted and confounded?

If you are struck by the appearance of any promised pleasure, guard yourself against being hurried away by it; but let the affair wait your leisure, and procure yourself some delay.

Upon all occasions we ought to have these maxims ready at hand: 'Conduct me, Jove, and you, O Destiny, wherever your decrees have fixed my station. I follow cheerfully; and, did I not, wicked and wretched, I must follow still.'

When you are violently thirsty, take a little cold water into your mouth, and spit it out, and tell nobody.

It is not events that disturb people, it is their judgements concerning them.

He is free who lives as he wishes to live; who is neither subject to compulsion nor to hindrance, nor to force; whose movements to action are not impeded, whose desires attain their purpose, and who does not fall into that which he would avoid.

Some things depend on ourselves, and other things do not depend on ourselves. The things which are in our own power are conception, movement, desire, aversion.

Consider at what price you sell your own will: if for no other reason, that you may not sell it for a small sum.

When a difficulty falls upon you, remember to turn to yourself and see what faculty you have for meeting it.

Where does the good exist? — In the will. Where does evil exist? — In the will. Where does neither of them exist? — In the things which are independent of the will.

Every event has two handles — by one of which it can be borne, by the other not.

Freedom is not procured by a full enjoyment of what is desired, but by controlling the desire.

No one who is either in fear or in sorrow or in perturbation is free; but whoever is delivered from sorrows and fears and perturbations, he by the very same means is delivered also from slavery.

Only the educated are free.

If any one trusted your body to the first man who met you, you would be indignant; but you entrust your own mind to chance and to any one who happens to meet you, and allow it to be disturbed and put in confusion by the mere first word. Are you not ashamed of this?

The condition and characteristic of an uninstructed person is, that he never expects from himself either benefit or harm, but from external things. The condition and characteristic of a philosopher is, that he expects all benefit and harm from himself.

There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.

If a person gave your body to any stranger he met on his way, you would certainly be angry. And do you feel no shame in handing over your own mind to be confused and mystified by any one who happens to verbally attack you?

If you would have peace, give no man the power over your passions. For as soon as you desire or fear anything, you become a slave to him who can give or take it away.

Do not seek to have all things happen as you wish, but wish all things to happen as they do, and you will go on well.

The more we value things outside our control, the less control we have. The more we value what is in our control, the freer we become.

No man is free who is not master of himself. He who is not master of himself is in bondage to his passions and to fortune.

Of all the things that are, some are in our power, and some are not. In our power are opinion, desire, aversion, and in a word, whatever are our own acts. Not in our power are body, property, reputation, office, and in a word, whatever are not our own acts.

When you have made the good your own, and the bad another's, there is no room for flattery or blame. You will be free and independent.

Has it not been made plain that we should not value the things that are not in our power, but only those that are? And the only things in our power are our judgments, impulses, desires, and aversions.

No man is free who is not master of himself. He is a slave to his passions, to his desires, to his fears, and to fortune.

God has entrusted to you your own faculty, and has made it your own. He has given you nothing else that is so much your own. Use it well, and you will be happy; neglect it, and you will be miserable.

No man is free unless he is the master of his own actions. He who is compelled by another is not free; he who is compelled by his own passions is the most enslaved of all.

He who is not master of his passions is not free. He is dragged about by desire and fear, and is the slave of fortune.

The philosopher is not a person who is free from passions, but one who has his passions under control. The fool is governed by them; the wise man governs them.

The materials of action are variable, but the use we make of them should be constant. It is not in our power to choose the events, but it is in our power to choose our attitude towards them.

No man is free who is not master of his own body. He who is overcome by pleasure is a slave to pleasure.

If one were to measure what is agreeable by the standard of pleasure, nothing would be pleasanter than self-control; and if one were to measure what is to be avoided by pain, nothing would be more painful than lack of self-control.

Man conquers the world by conquering himself.

Lead me, O Zeus, and thou O Destiny, wherever your decree has assigned me. I follow readily; and if I would not, wicked and wretched, I must follow still.

The use of wine in abundance is a freezing of the mind. The wise man will use it with moderation, or not at all.

The wise man is not a person who has no passions, but one who has them under control. For he is not free from the first movements of the soul, but he does not consent to them.

The wise man is not free from the first movements of the soul, such as sudden fear or sudden desire, but he does not consent to them. For consent is in our power.

The wise man will marry and have children, for the state of the wise man is not that of a solitary hermit. But he will do so with the thought that some things are not in his power.

The wise man is always happy. For he has all that he desires, and he desires nothing that is not in his power.

The passions are all in our own power. We cannot prevent the first movements of the soul, but we can prevent them from becoming passions by withholding our consent.

The wise man is not free from the first movements of the soul, but he is free from passion. He may feel a sudden sting, but he does not consent to it.

The Stoics say that the wise man is free from passion, because he is not subject to grief, fear, desire, or pleasure. He is not without sensation, but he is without passion.

The Stoics say that the wise man will marry and beget children, for these are things according to nature. But he will not be troubled if he has no children, for they are not in his power.

Do the things external which fall upon thee distract thee? Give thyself time to learn something new and good, and cease to be whirled around.

The ambitious man supposes another's activity to be his own good; the man who loves pleasure supposes his own sensation to be his good; but he who has understanding considers his own acts to be his own good.

Whenever thou art troubled about anything, thou hast forgotten this, that all things happen according to the universal nature; and forgotten this, that a man's wrongful act is nothing to thee.

It is a ridiculous thing for a man not to fly from his own wickedness, which is indeed possible, but to fly from other men's wickedness, which is impossible.

Consider that men will do the same things nevertheless, even though thou shouldst burst.

Remember that the ruling faculty is invincible, when self-collected it is satisfied with itself, if it does nothing which it does not choose to do, even if it resist from mere obstinacy.

Every man on the point of doing anything, let him ask himself, Is this one of the unnecessary things? Nor is it enough to remove unnecessary acts, but also unnecessary thoughts, for thus superfluous acts will not follow after.

All is opinion. For it is plain that Monimus the Cynic said, and plain also is the use of what was said, if a man receives what may be got out of it as far as it is true.

No man who is a lover of money, of pleasure, or of glory, is likewise a lover of mankind.

Where is the good? In the will. Where is the evil? In the will. Where is that which is neither good nor evil? In the things which are independent of the will.

No man is free, who is not master of himself.

Difficulties are things that show a person what they are.

If you wish to be a writer, write.

Freedom is not procured by a full enjoyment of what is desired, but by controlling the desire.

The greater the difficulty, the more glory in surmounting it.

Preach not to others what they should eat, but eat as becomes you and be silent.

First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.

Only the educated are free.

No one can rob us of our free will.

Circumstances don't make the man, they only reveal him to himself.

Man is disturbed not by things, but by the views he takes of them.

Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.

Practice yourself, for heaven's sake in little things, and thence proceed to greater.

Nothing great is created suddenly, any more than a bunch of grapes or a fig.

Any person capable of angering you becomes your master.

Seek not that the things which happen should happen as you wish; but wish the things which happen to be as they are, and you will have a tranquil flow of life.

Attach yourself to what is spiritually superior, regardless of what other people think or do.

It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows.

We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.

Don't just say you have read books. Show that through them you have learned to think better.

If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.

Neither should a ship rely on one small anchor, nor should life rest on a single hope.

Silence is safer than speech.

There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.

Caretake this moment. Immerse yourself in its particulars.

Don't explain your philosophy. Embody it.

Never depend on the admiration of others. There is no strength in it.

If you would be a reader, read; if a writer, write.

We must not believe the many, who say that only free people ought to be educated, but we should rather believe the philosophers who say that only the educated are free.

Every perturbation is a violent motion of the mind either against reason, or without any regard to it.

Grief, therefore, being an opinion, is voluntary.

They hold that virtue is a harmonious disposition, choice-worthy for its own sake, not from hope or fear.

The wise man is free, though he be a slave; and the fool is a slave, though he be a king.

Posidonius held that the passions arise from an unruly power in the soul, and must be curbed by reason.

Some things are up to us, and some are not up to us. Up to us are opinion, choice, desire, aversion; and, in a word, whatever is our own doing.

Men are disturbed not by the things which happen, but by the opinions about the things.

Do not seek to have events happen as you wish, but wish them to happen as they do happen, and your life will go well.

Everything has two handles: one by which it may be borne, another by which it cannot.

The condition and characteristic of a vulgar person is that he never expects either benefit or hurt from himself, but from externals.

Some of the wisest of men have therefore called anger a brief madness.

No plague has cost the human race more dear.

The best plan is to reject at once the first incitement to anger, to resist even its beginnings.

The greatest remedy for anger is delay.

Anger is an enemy to counsel.

We are mad not only individually, but nationally.

The greatest punishment of wickedness is to have committed it.

Whoever thinks himself happy makes others so.

Reflect that many things which the mob deems bitter are not really so.

The best remedy for injury is to forget it.

We must every day call ourselves to account: What bad habit have I cured today? What fault resisted?

The very best remedy for anger is delay: beg time from anger.

The essence of good and evil consists in an attitude of the will.

Progress is not achieved by luck or accident, but by working on yourself daily.

Only when we have really understood our sicknesses shall we begin to be healed.

You are a citizen of the universe, and a part of it, not one of the subservient parts.

No great thing is created suddenly, any more than a bunch of grapes or a fig.

If I were a nightingale, I would do what is proper to a nightingale, and if I were a swan, what is proper to a swan.

Difficulties show a man's character.

The door is open; if you cannot bear the smoke, leave the room.

When we are hindered, or disturbed, or grieved, let us never blame others, but ourselves, that is, our own opinions.

In each thing which delights or is useful or beloved, remember to add what its nature is.

Be careful to leave your sons well instructed rather than rich.

Materials are indifferent, but the use we make of them is not indifferent.

You are a distinct portion of the essence of God, and contain a certain part of Him in yourself.

How is it possible that a man who has nothing, who is naked, homeless, without a hearth, squalid, without a slave, without a city, can pass a life that flows easily? See, God has sent you a man to show you that it is possible.

No man is free who is not master of himself.

Every habit and faculty is confirmed and increased by the corresponding actions.

Where the interest is, there is affection.

There are three topics in which the man who would be wise and good must be exercised: that which concerns desires and aversions, that which concerns pursuits and avoidances, and thirdly, the topic of freedom from deception.

Where the good is, there also is advantage.

Show me a man who though sick is happy, though in danger is happy, though dying is happy, though in exile is happy, though disgraced is happy.

Freedom is not achieved by satisfying desire, but by eliminating it.

If you would make progress, be content to be thought foolish and stupid with regard to external things.

'When a man is alone he is desolate' — but a man may be in a crowd and yet be desolate; and he may be alone and not be desolate.

In every affair consider what precedes and what follows, and then undertake it.

The condition of a philosopher: he expects all help or harm from himself.

Every event is an opportunity: shall you not use it well?

Look at me: I am without a home, without a city, without property, without a slave; I sleep on the ground; I have no wife, no children, no praetorium, but only the earth and heavens, and one poor cloak. And what do I want? Am I not without sorrow? Am I not without fear? Am I not free?

If you wish to be good, first believe that you are bad.

Everything great is created slowly.

Bear in mind that even in a small matter, if you have failed, you have set a precedent for failure.

He who is discontented with what he has, and with what has been granted him by fortune, is an unlearned man in the art of life.

No man is a slave who is free in his will.

He is free who lives as he wishes to live.

Nothing is achieved by force which cannot be achieved by reason.

The whole of philosophy leads to this — that we should behave as free men.

When we cannot bear our own faults, we bear the faults of others.

Nothing else is the cause of freedom but this — to be willing to be neither hindered nor compelled.

In all things it is better to hope than to despair.

Cleanliness of body is a preparation for cleanliness of soul.

He who lives without discipline dies without honor.

Grief comes from the mistaken belief that a great evil is present.

No one but the wise man is free.

All wise men are free.

When anything, from the least thing upwards, is attractive or serviceable or an object of affection, remember always to say to yourself, 'What is its nature?'

Never say of anything, 'I have lost it,' but 'I have returned it.'

Freedom is secured not by the fulfilling of one's desires, but by the removal of desire.

No man is free who cannot command himself.

Practise, then, from the very beginning to say to every harsh appearance, 'You are but an appearance, and not absolutely the thing you appear to be.'