Friendship

Begin the morning by saying to thyself, I shall meet with the busy-body, the ungrateful, arrogant, deceitful, envious, unsocial.

It is a man's special privilege to love even those who wrong him.

Never value anything as profitable to thyself which shall compel thee to break thy promise, to lose thy self-respect, to hate any man, to suspect, to curse, to act the hypocrite, to desire anything which needs walls and curtains.

The best revenge is not to be like your enemy.

If any man is able to convince me and show me that I do not think or act right, I will gladly change; for I seek the truth.

That which is not good for the bee-hive cannot be good for the bees.

Do not be ashamed to be helped; for it is thy business to do thy duty like a soldier in the assault on a town.

He who acts unjustly acts impiously. For since the universal nature has made rational animals for the sake of one another, he who acts contrary to nature commits impiety against the highest divinity.

When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly. They are like this because they cannot tell good from evil.

From my tutor I learned endurance of labour, and to want little, and to work with my own hands, and not to meddle with other people's affairs, and not to be ready to listen to slander.

Nothing is more wretched than a man who traverses everything in a round, and pries into the things beneath the earth, and conjectures what is in the minds of his neighbours, without perceiving that it is sufficient to attend to the daemon within him.

The soul of man does violence to itself, first of all, when it becomes an abscess, and, as it were, a tumour on the universe... Secondly, when it is averse from any man, or even moves towards him with the intention of injuring, such as are the souls of those who are angry.

How much trouble he avoids who does not look to see what his neighbour says or does or thinks, but only to what he does himself, that it may be just and pure.

One kind of man, when he has done a service to another, is ready to set down the favour to his account. Another is not ready to do this, but still in his own mind he thinks of the man as his debtor... But a third in a manner does not even know what he has done, but he is like a vine which has produced grapes.

Take pleasure in one thing and rest in it, in passing from one social act to another social act, thinking of God.

What then is that which ought to be valued? To be received with clapping of hands? No. Neither must we value the clapping of tongues, for the praise which comes from the many is a clapping of tongues.

When thou wishest to delight thyself, think of the virtues of those who live with thee; for instance, the activity of one, and the modesty of another, and the liberality of a third.

Accustom thyself to attend carefully to what is said by another, and as much as it is possible, be in the speaker's mind.

All things are implicated with one another, and the bond is holy... For there is one common world made up of all things, and one God who pervades all things.

When a man has done thee any wrong, immediately consider with what opinion about good or evil he has done wrong. For when thou hast seen this, thou wilt pity him, and wilt neither wonder nor be angry.

First, do nothing inconsiderately, nor without a purpose. Second, make thy acts refer to nothing else than to a social end.

Men exist for the sake of one another. Teach them then or bear with them.

When thou art offended at any man's fault, forthwith turn to thyself and reflect in what like manner thou dost err thyself.

Adorn thyself with simplicity and with indifference towards the things which lie between virtue and vice. Love mankind. Follow God.

I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinion of himself than on the opinion of others.

From my brother Severus, love to my kin, and to love truth and justice; and through him I learned to know Thrasea, Helvidius, Cato, Dion, Brutus, and received the idea of a polity administered with equity.

From my brother, I learned to be ready to be reconciled with those who have once offended, when they are willing to meet us halfway; and to read carefully, and not to be satisfied with a superficial knowledge of books.

From the gods, I received good grandfathers, good parents, a good sister, good teachers, good associates, good kinsmen and friends, nearly everything good.

The best way of avenging thyself is not to become like the wrong-doer.

I shall meet to-day inquisitive, ungrateful, arrogant, deceitful, envious, unsocial. All these things happen to them by reason of their ignorance of what is good and evil.

Let not a man do anything else but what tends to the harmony of the whole, and what is useful to it. For every part of nature, if it is useful, it is also good; and it is useful for the whole.

If our intellectual part is common, the reason also, in respect of which we are rational beings, is common: if this is so, common also is the reason which commands us what to do, and what not to do.

Even when a man shall have completely lost the power of thought, let him still hold fast to this social affection. For a much better thing is this social affection than the pleasure of the senses.

Everything which is in any way beautiful is beautiful in itself, and terminates in itself, not having praise as part of itself. Neither worse then nor better is a thing made by being praised.

If any man has done wrong, the harm is his own. But perhaps he has not done wrong.

The intelligence of the universe is social. Accordingly it has made the inferior things for the sake of the superior, and it has fitted the superior to one another.

If a man is mistaken, instruct him kindly and show him his error. But if thou art not able, blame thyself, or blame not even thyself.

Fit thyself to the estate in which providence has placed thee, and love the people with whom it is thy lot to live, but do it sincerely.

What is not good for the swarm is not good for the bee. It is no harm to the bee if it is not good for the swarm. But if the bee is not good for the swarm, it is not good for the bee either.

If sailors spoke ill of the pilot or patients of the physician, what else would they listen to but what is good for them?

They are slaves. No, they are men. They are slaves. No, comrades.

Everywhere means nowhere. When a person spends all his time in foreign travel, he ends by having many acquaintances but no friends.

Ponder for a long time whether you shall admit a given person to your friendship; but when you have decided to admit him, welcome him with all your heart and soul.

Inwardly we ought to be different in all respects, but our exterior should conform to society.

Recede in te ipse quantum potes; cum his versare qui te meliorem facturi sunt. Withdraw into yourself as much as you can. Associate with those who will make a better man of you.

The wise man is self-sufficient — yet he desires friends, neighbors, and associates, no matter how much he is sufficient unto himself.

All men, if they are traced back to their original source, spring from the gods.

What progress, you ask, have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself.

It is the part of a great man to despise injuries from his inferiors.

Homines, dum docent, discunt. Men learn while they teach.

A wise man is content with himself, and yet needs friends. He wishes to have as many friends as possible, not, however, that he may live happily; for he will live happily even without friends.

There is no glory in outstripping donkeys.

Non satis est monere, admonere debemus. It is not enough to warn — we must remind.

There is no delight in owning anything unshared.

If you wish to be loved, love.

We are members of a great body; and we are born into this commonwealth for the common good.

When you are thinking of a friend, do you never think of him as having a flaw? A friend is not a person who has no flaws, but one whom you love despite them.

It is the part of a great man to despise injuries from his inferiors. The most contemptible form of revenge is not to be like the person who performed the injury.

How much better to heal than seek revenge from injury. Vengeance wastes a lot of time and exposes you to many more injuries than the first that sparked it.

We should not, like sheep, follow the herd of creatures in front of us, going where they go, not where we ought to go.

The best remedy for injuries is to forget them.

When you see a person always in his robes, either in the house or in the forum, beset by many clients, you may be sure that he is not busy with the affairs of others but his own.

The cause of anger is the belief that we have been wronged. But this belief is often false, and even when true, the wrong is not such as we imagine.

We should allow the wrongdoer to explain himself. Often what we take to be an insult is not one; often praise is hidden under a rough word.

Let us be kind to those who sin; we shall be the first to gain by it. Anger is bad for the body; it harms the angry man more than the object of his anger.

No one can be happy who looks to himself alone. The greatest consolation in trouble is the thought that we are not suffering alone, and that others have borne as much and more.

Clemency is the ornament and the safeguard of kings. It is the most precious possession of the sovereign, and the most useful.

No one is so lost in the depths of wickedness, so wholly given to evil, that he cannot be won back by kindness.

The giving of benefits is the chief duty of the good man. But the benefit is not in the thing given, but in the mind of the giver.

The greatest benefit is to teach a man to be good. For such a benefit is not exhausted by use, but increases the more it is shared.

We should give benefits, not in order to receive them, but because it is right to give. The reward of virtue is virtue itself.

The memory of a benefit received is a pleasant burden; the memory of a benefit conferred is a noble joy.

He who gives quickly gives twice. The value of a benefit is measured by the will and the opportunity of the giver.

Remember that it is not he who gives abuse or strikes you who insults you, but it is your opinion about these things as being insulting.

Everything has two handles, the one by which it may be borne, the other by which it cannot. If your brother acts unjustly, do not lay hold on the action by the handle of his injustice... but by the opposite — that he is your brother.

If you would improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid with regard to external things. Don't wish to be thought to know anything; and even if you appear to be somebody important to others, distrust yourself.

When you see anyone weeping in grief because his son has gone abroad, or is dead, or because he has suffered in his affairs, be careful that the appearance may not misdirect you. Instead, distinguish within your own mind, and be prepared to say, 'It's not what has happened that distresses this man, but his judgement about it.'

If you have an earnest desire of attaining to philosophy, prepare yourself from the very first to be laughed at, to be sneered by the multitude.

Does anyone bathe in a mighty little time? Don't say that he does it ill, but in a mighty little time. Does anyone drink a great quantity of wine? Don't say that he does ill, but that he drinks a great quantity. For, unless you perfectly understand the principle from which anyone acts, how should you know if he acts ill?

Never call yourself a philosopher, nor talk a great deal among the unlearned about theorems, but act conformably to them. Thus, at an entertainment, don't talk how persons ought to eat, but eat as you ought.

If you have an earnest desire towards philosophy, prepare yourself from the very first to be laughed at, to be sneered by the multitude, to hear them say, 'He is returned to us a philosopher all at once.'

Let not such considerations as these distress you: 'I will live in dishonour, and be nobody anywhere.' For if dishonour be an evil, you can no more be involved in any evil by means of another, than be engaged in anything base.

Has anyone been honoured above you at an entertainment, or in being saluted, or in being invited to a consultation? If these things are good, you ought to rejoice that he has got them; and if they are evil, don't be grieved that you have not got them.

Duties are universally measured by relations. Is anyone a father? If so, it is implied that the children should take care of him, submit to him in everything, patiently listen to his reproaches, his correction.

When you do anything from a clear judgement that it ought to be done, never shun the being seen to do it, even though the world should make a wrong supposition about it; for if you don't act right, shun the action itself; but, if you do, why are you afraid of those who censure you wrongly?

Women from fourteen years old are flattered with the title of 'mistresses' by the men. Therefore, perceiving that they are regarded only as qualified to give the men pleasure, they begin to adorn themselves, and in that to place all their hopes. It is worthwhile, therefore, to fix our attention on making them sensible that they are valued for the appearance of decent, modest and discreet behaviour.

When any person harms you, or speaks badly of you, remember that he acts or speaks from a supposition of its being his duty. Now, it is not possible that he should follow what appears right to you, but what appears so to himself.

These reasonings are unconnected: 'I am richer than you, therefore I am better'; 'I am more eloquent than you, therefore I am better.' The connection is rather this: 'I am richer than you, therefore my property is greater than yours.'

Whatever rules you have adopted, abide by them as laws, and as if you would be impious to transgress them; and do not regard what any one says of you, for this is not your concern.

You are a citizen of the world, and a part of it, not one of the subservient, but one of the principal parts. You are capable of comprehending the divine administration, and of considering the connection of things.

For to fall into error unwillingly is a man's misfortune. He who suffers pain, then, is not the sufferer of the injury, but the doer of it.

It is the act of an ill-instructed man to blame others for his own bad condition; it is the act of one who has begun to be instructed, to lay the blame on himself; and of one whose instruction is completed, neither to blame another, nor himself.

If any one trusted your body to the first man who met you, you would be indignant; but you entrust your own mind to chance and to any one who happens to meet you, and allow it to be disturbed and put in confusion by the mere first word. Are you not ashamed of this?

If you wish to be a philosopher, learn first to live conformably to nature; if you do that, you will know what you ask for. But first, you must be willing to be laughed at and called a slave by those who are called free men.

If a person gave your body to any stranger he met on his way, you would certainly be angry. And do you feel no shame in handing over your own mind to be confused and mystified by any one who happens to verbally attack you?

In the case of most men, when they are insulted, they are disturbed and troubled. But the philosopher, when he is insulted, examines whether he has deserved it; if he has, he corrects himself; if not, he smiles.

When you have made the good your own, and the bad another's, there is no room for flattery or blame. You will be free and independent.

If you are told that such a one speaks ill of you, make no defense against what was said, but answer, 'He does not know the rest of my faults, or he would not have mentioned only these.'

Do not wish for the death of any man, even if he is a wicked man. For he is not wicked of his own will, but because he is mistaken about what is good.

No man who is a lover of money, a lover of pleasure, or a lover of glory, is likewise a lover of mankind. He is a lover of himself, and his love is narrow and selfish.

If you would improve, submit to be considered foolish and stupid with respect to externals. Do not wish to be thought to know anything; and even if you appear to be somebody important to others, distrust yourself.

When you see a person weeping in sorrow, either when a child goes abroad or when he is dead, or when the man has lost his property, take care that the appearance does not hurry you away with it. But immediately make the distinction within yourself, and say, 'It is not the thing that distresses this man, but his judgment about it.'

When you are in company, observe what are the things that you are naturally inclined to talk about. Are they the things that concern the body, or those that concern the soul? If they concern the body, you are not yet a philosopher.

Women as well as men have received from the gods the gift of reason, which we use in our dealings with one another and by which we judge whether a thing is good or bad, right or wrong.

A king should rule by reason, not by force. And the reason of a king has to be good if he is to rule well.

It is far better to comfort our friend than to be comforted by him.

The chief end of marriage is to live in community, and to procreate children... They must not marry for wealth or noble birth, but for character.

You will earn the respect of all if you begin by earning the respect of yourself.

We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen more than we say.

Better to trip with the feet than with the tongue.

If I had followed the multitude, I should not have studied philosophy.

We are not born for ourselves alone; our country claims a share, and our friends a share, of our being.

The cause of all our troubles is that we follow the lead of our fellows, judging things to be best when they are most in fashion.

I begin to be the friend of myself; that man is well prepared for friendship who can become his own friend.

The wise man is self-sufficient, in the sense that all that he needs for happiness lies in himself. Friends and wealth are preferred, but not necessary.

The wise man will participate in politics, unless something prevents him. For virtue is not a solitary thing, but is exercised in society.

The wise man is self-sufficient, needing no one, yet he will make friends and be grateful, for friendship is a natural and good thing.

The wise man will marry and have children, for the state of the wise man is not that of a solitary hermit. But he will do so with the thought that some things are not in his power.

The first office of justice is to hurt no one, unless provoked by wrong. The second is to be useful to all, especially to the commonwealth.

The arts were invented by wise men, not by the crowd. The first inventors were philosophers, who sought to improve the life of man.

The wise man is a citizen of the whole world. He considers all mankind as his country, and all men as his fellow-citizens.

Cato, when he was asked why he entered politics, answered, 'I am not a man who can live for himself alone.'

Anger is a brief madness. It takes away the judgment and makes a man the enemy of his best friends. The philosopher must therefore extirpate it.

We are not born for ourselves alone. Our country claims a share of our being, and our friends claim a share.

A man should not only be a good man, but he should seem to be good. For the appearance of goodness is a help to goodness, and the concealment of vice is a vice.

The greatest glory of virtue is in the love of our country. He who serves his country best is the best man.

We should follow the counsel of nature, and nature has implanted in man a love of his fellow-men. Therefore, all men are united by a common bond.

There is no virtue greater than justice. It is the bond of human society, and without it, men cannot live together.

The whole race of mankind is united by a common nature. We are all members of one body, and therefore we should love one another.

The Stoics say that the wise man is self-sufficient. He is not in need of others, but he will choose to live in society, because man is a social animal.

Just as we are attached to ourselves, so we are naturally attached to our children, our parents, our brothers, our wife, and our fellow-citizens. The circles of concern spread outward.

We should try to draw the circles together, as it were, by transferring what is in the inner circle to the outer circle. We should treat our brother as ourselves, and our fellow-citizen as our brother.

The wise man is related to all men by nature, and therefore he regards the interests of all men as his own. This is the true cosmopolitanism.

The animal is born with a love for itself, and this love is the foundation of all virtue. For from it arises the love of parents, children, and country.

The duty of a man is to benefit his parents, his children, his brothers, his wife, and his fellow-citizens. For these are the circles of nature, and nature binds us to them.

It is a ridiculous thing for a man not to fly from his own wickedness, which is indeed possible, but to fly from other men's wickedness, which is impossible.

Consider that men will do the same things nevertheless, even though thou shouldst burst.

When thou hast done a good act and another has received it, why dost thou still look for a third thing besides these, as fools do, either to have the reputation of having done a good act, or to obtain a return?

Have I done something for the general interest? Well then I have had my reward. Let this always be present to thy mind, and never stop doing such good.

When thou art offended at any man's fault, forthwith turn to thyself and reflect in what like manner thou dost err thyself.

Nothing is more noble, nothing more venerable than fidelity.

We are not born, we do not live for ourselves alone; our country, our friends, have a share in us.

Friendship makes prosperity brighter, while it lightens adversity by sharing its griefs and anxieties.

A friend is, as it were, a second self.

In the very act of doing a favor, we should say and mean, 'Never think of it, I am delighted to have been of use.'

Nothing so cements and holds together in union all the parts of a society as faith or credit.

No one can be entirely happy unless he can love another as another self.

When someone asked Zeno what a friend was, he replied, 'Another I.'

We ought to regard all men as our fellow-citizens and neighbours.

Each of us is, as it were, entirely encompassed by many circles, some smaller, others larger, some enclosing, others enclosed.

The task of a good man is to draw the outer circles inward, treating strangers as brothers.

Every duty which tends to the preservation of society ought to be preferred to that duty which is confined to knowledge and science.

Friendship makes life happier by sharing its joys.

Nature has so formed us that a certain tie unites us all.

Time removes distress, while friendship stays.

We do not have friends because we are weak, but because we are strong enough to bestow the benefits of friendship.